On and on and on

An endless fire til you blow it out. 

Hello dead blog :b haha. Am suppose to update about Korea but I don't have any pictures with me now so I'll wait 'til I have pictures. Nothing much to say about Korea anyway. Maybe cause I was on tour so yeah. Still prefer Thailand over Korea though :b

Anyway, Yellows had our lake run today and I guess we did pretty great but again, every house would think that their house did pretty great unless over a 100 people didn't qualify then that's just bad. I was a bit dizzy before the run but of course I wouldn't want to back out cause every person counts but then halfway during the run, my gastric decided to pay me a long long visit and I just started at that time. The pain was so overwhelming, I just wanted to sit on the bloody track and cry. It was so damn painful. I really wanted to give up, I really did. But I forced myself to keep going even though I don't think it was worth it :b But if I stopped, I would disappoint some people and obviously I did not want that. In the end, I couldn't sprint as fast as I usually do but I'm glad I qualified. I don't aim for placings cause I don't wanna bloody run for road relay plus I don't think I'm that fast so yeah. When I was about to finish, I smiled to myself because I was happy that I kept going and my friends cheered for me so that smile got even wider then someone yelled at me, "Rachel Lu, stop smiling and run!" I started laughing until the finishing line. Some people probably think I was some maniac haha.

This may not be very inspiring or whatsoever but I guess to me it shows that nothing can stop you no matter what. You will stop unless you tell yourself too but other than that, you can go as far as you like because no one and nothing can stop you. It's all you, you control yourself. So always tell yourself that there's actually no limits or boundaries until you set one for yourself. True? Whatever it is, keep going cause you can (:

Sorry my post isn't very nice today but at least I updated it :b

Love Rachel*

Starve or not to?

Keep going!

Hey everyone, the holidays have begun. Like finally. I was waiting forever for the CNY holidays to begin. Reunion dinners, gambling, drinking, fireworks, CNY cookies... Oh god. Can't wait especially to collect ang pao :b I'm leaving to Korea on the 12th, so damn excited! First time visiting a cold place, hehe!

Anyway, recently my coach weighed me, I've gotten heavier but my fat percentage dropped so that's an achievement (': Fact: Did you know muscles weigh more than fats? Well if you didn't then now you know. When you step onto a simple weighing scale, it's just a 2 digit number, you don't know what you're fat percentage it and stuff like that. So if you gained weight, it could always be because you've gained more muscles (this only applies if you've been working out daily), if you haven't you probably gained weight. I'm starting to get more serious about my body and my weight so I'm doing like a progression picture where you take a picture of your body every month and see whether there's any changes. (aiming to get abs here :x)  But of course meanwhile you have to  have enough exercise, eat healthily and blah blah. You can't have muscles suddenly appearing a month later, if only life was that easy.

I see people always wanting to be skinny or something like that. Well in my opinion, wanting to be skinny isn't a very healthy thing to do. You can choose to be skinny or stay fit.There are many ways you can be skinny, you can starve, be anorexic, bulimic which of course are not encouraged and it's very dangerous OR you can stay fit. How to stay fit? Exercise enough and eat clean. It's not easy, definitely, I'm so determined to get a toned body but trust me, it's difficult as hell. I'm not starving of course because according to researches, starving makes you gain weight. How? When you starve, you might decrease some calories which will eventually lead to short term weight lost, SHORT TERM yeah which will also lead to the slowing down of your own metabolism equals to storing of more fat equals to losing more energy. And I'm pretty sure we humans can't starve for THAT long so when you suddenly start eating a lot again, your body will gain unwanted weight. So think twice before thinking starving will help you lose weight. If you're weight is suitable for your height, maintain it, if you're overweight or underweight, you probably need to do something about that. It's always the best to be in the healthy range. Staying fit isn't easy at all, you need discipline and control but I always tell myself that the results will be worth it (: Be healthy!

Love Rachel*

Smiling but I'm close to tears

Hmm..

Source: weheartit.com 

Hello yellow mellow cello lo lo lo. Sorry I was trying to rhyme, haha. It's already the 4th of February. Everyone's like "Omg, so fast?" and stuff like that but to me its like, "Huh? So slow" I'm not sure why I want time so past, I think it's cause I'm looking forward to some things but at the same time there are certain things I just want to get it over and done with. But I should really learn how to SEIZE the moment. I honestly don't know what inspiring stuff to blog today because I haven't been inspired lately. I'm just putting food into my mouth continuously. How the hell does my stomach take it? Oh, today Mr Chew was talking about bullying during his speech today at assembly and this was what he said, "Blah blah blah if I find out you're bullying someone, I'll make sure I'll come hard on you blah blah blah." And obviously, we sick-minded teenagers start giggling because we think of come as cum. After he said that, I was trying so hard to hold back my laughter. HAHAHA. It's a really disturbing thought though ... Ew. 

Anyway, let's start blogging about feelings!

In this small little house,
it lived a small little girl.
A sad, heartbroken,
neglected, lonely, tired girl.
Her cheeks were always wet,
Her eyes burned from the saltiness of her tears.
There was not one moment,
not one where she would stop crying.
Forever her tears would pour. 
At times, she try to hold 'em back,
but eventually she can hold back no more.
Her tears pour out like a waterfall.
Forever falling,
forever gushing.
It was a wonder how this house was never flooded.
When her tears drained,
more will replace.
It was a never ending cycle.
The cycle of depression. 

And outside of this small little house was a heart,
a broken heart fixed with a single band aid.
But a piece of the heart was missing.
Someone took it away,
and never seemed to return to it.
There was a hole in the heart,
and nothing could ever replace the stolen piece.
The little girl's home was exposed,
only a complete heart could protect her.
She cries everyday,
hoping that missing piece would be returned.
She was vulnerable,
Unsafe.
Broken.
Incomplete.
She has no other protection.
All this little girl could do,
was Hope.

This heart with the home of depression,
lived in an ordinary 16year old girl.
A girl who had a smile on her face everyday.
She laughed when she was around people.
She was strong, confident and was always ready.
She looked happy.
She looked fine.
She looked like nothing in this world could ever ruin her peace of mind.
People thought that way about her.
Like everything about her was perfectly fine.
They think she had no more worries.

But they thought wrong. 
This happy-looking teenage girl,
Has a hole in her heart,
And in this broken heart,
there is a home of depression,
And in this home,
lives a girl who
never 
stopped 
crying. 

Love Rachel*