2014

If you're reading my blog right now I assume you do not have any plans for tonight? HAHAHAHAHA It's okay, I don't to. But it's okay to stay at home (:

I'm pretty sure there are a lot of people out there writing down their resolutions for the New Year. I used to do that but I'm quite bad at keeping at it although I have crossed out a few things on my list already (: Well, I encourage people to list down what they aim for the year 2014, you may not be able to cross it out at the end but at least, it gives you some sort of direction (: Hmm, but the thing that makes me wonder is that, what if the world didn't have years. Like just day 1 until day 1 billion and there are no years and no months or weeks. Just never ending days.... What if? Would we still make resolutions then? Will we still try to make changes to ourselves like how we always try to every year? I've talked about this before actually. I understand that it gives you like a new starting point kinda thing so you choose to begin on a new year, fair enough because that's what I did. But people say, why don't you make your change today or tomorrow. Why should you wait for 2014 to come? I guess it's pretty true why wait right? Hmm, I guess, sometimes you don't really have to wait for a new year or month to make a change. Make your own starting point (:

I'm sure everyone wants to make some sort of difference for the upcoming year but the problem with us is that we tend to forget about our resolutions and be like screw it. I assume it's because sometimes people aim too high and they get lazy to continue so they just you know, sod it. If you're serious about making a change to yourself, well, take baby steps. Let's say you wanna go to the gym four times a week, and before that you've never been to the bloody gym. First, think it through, will you find that sort of discipline and time to go to the gym? Will you get lazy and maybe skip? Maybe you can say go to the gym once a week and get used to that first. When you feel that oomf and all, you can start increasing your days (: Same applies to people who wanna so ambitiously study 1 hour everyday. I'm sorry but that really won't work. Isn't school enough? Plus studies show you should study about 15 mins, that's enough already apart from school.

I guess when you list down all that resolutions, I know everyone's like "yeah niggas, time to make a change. I'm gonna be a better person and all, blah blah blah hell yeah." You're so pumped to be different but just think of it in the long run, how long can you keep this up? You need to be willing to put in time and effort, gotta be discipline and ready to make a change. So I'm sorry to burst your bubble but, sit down and really think about whether you can actually cross out those things on the list by the end of next year (: Not trying to be negative or anything but come on, it's true. You know it's true :b

Gonna sign out now. Happy New Year's everyone! Have a great 2014 ahead (: xx

Love Rachel*

Happiness is a CHOICE

What do you choose?

Damn right it is. Ollo :D 2013 is ending so soon, damn. I still can remember 2012 so clearly. It's crazy huh how fast time flies.?What have I been doing with my life..?

okay, enough chit chat and on with it.

As you all know time's passing pretty darn fast. What does that mean? We're growing older, we're closer to death. Basically we're gonna die soon la, haha. So that means what? Less time. 

What I've noticed is that, many around aren't happy. Yeah it's pretty normal to be sad but sad all the time? Now there's something wrong. We all have to have balance in life, we would not know joy if we know no pain, yes? We'll have our ups and downs, good and bad ya know. Many say they cannot find happiness again, and I admit, I have said that before. I thought I could never be as happy as I used to be while I was going through something but in the end, I proved myself wrong. I'm now as happy as ever with my life (:

If you can get sad, why is it not possible to get out of it? It is possible. You can choose to be happy, (hence the title) if that's what you want. For example, you're sad in a relationship, you don't feel happy so what do you do? You get out of the relationship. You'll then realise how light you feel because the burden's taken off you. At the end of it, it's your decision whether you wanna be sad and stay in the relationship or leave and go search for your happiness. Yes, it's not as easy as it sounds but I can say it's pretty much worth it you know, being happy again. You can't be sad forever, at some point you have to snap out of that depressing bubble and really live your life. I guess maybe that's why people commit suicide. People don't think about searching for their happiness again, they think they're gonna be sad forever so they think, "might as well leave this place". I believe that everyone out there can be happy, whether is watching a little boy chase a butterfly, or just writing a blog, or working. I guess people come up with excuses because trying to be happy again takes effort and time so people take the easy way, just stay in their pool of tears. Your friends can help and all, hell, I can give your the best therapist in the world to help you get out of your sadness but if you don't wanna be happy, nothing can help you. You need the will to be happy. You need toWANT to be happy again.

In the end, it's really up to you whether you want to search for your happiness again. Do you want to be sad the rest of your life? Well if you do, then.... I guess it's up to you but I guess everyone deep down wants to be happy. I think everyone deserves to be happy in their life. Being happy is a really nice feeling, it's worth all the time and effort honestly. You should give it a try sometimes, sad little ones. There's not enough time to be sad in the world, so might as well use the time you have left to be happy (: Start by smiling (:

Happy Early Christmas y'all!

Love Rachel*

Don't let it hurt you.

One knife.
No, two.
Flying straight towards me.
Directly to my heart.
One goes in,
and then the other.
Don't cry
Teeth gritting hard.
Don't cry
A lump building in my throat.
Don't cry. 
Pain spreads not through my body
but through my heart and my mind.

I look okay, perfectly fine.
But I'm not.
your words hurt me.
Like knives piercing through my heart.
I pretend.
"It's just a graze, it's alright."
Deep down, I know.
It's not.

A wound that can never be treated.
Never to close.
It makes me vulnerable,
more pain will come.
More knives...
Like rubbing salt on a wound.
The burning sensation
but it hurts so bad.

Just someone with wounded heart.
But she's still standing.
She's never going down.
She stands proud and tall
with an open wound.
Don't cry. 
Sight blurring.
Don't cry.
Tears building.
Don't. Cry.
Run away, hide.
Cry. 

I don't know what I just wrote. No, I'm not emo if that's what you're wondering :b

Love Rachel*

What a sight.

The night was at a close, the bus slowly driving to a stop in front of a house. It seemed small, as a terrace house, and lit by florescent bulbs, giving it a more old look. The group, just coming back from a very merry house indeed, proceeded with much chatter among themselves. A lady greeted us, her smile wide, and her face bearing the fruits of age: wrinkles and sags. Yet she was jubilant, and very much warm, inviting us in to a cosy home, with few furniture, and very precisely places equipment. We walked on, still in our happy selves, and our guitarist made a friendly conversation with her. The lady had a nice tone, warm and delightful when she spoke about the lamp that was questioned, and just answered the guitarist that it was made by her husband, gesturing to the back of the still unexplored house. We walked as she led, into a room with two entranced; we gasped seeing an old man in a bed, eyes closed. The lady introduced him. Jason. She kissed him softly on the forehead and whispered words, loud enough for us to hear yet soft enough to be considered a whisper. “The carolers are here to sing for us. Dear, wake up please.” He did not stir, eyes shifting underneath his eyelids, but no bodily movement was made. “He cannot move, but he can hear perfectly. One of the best traits I remember about him,” the lady said. We got ready, the whole room now silent with a solemn feel, and started singing, gracefully; more graceful than the previous houses. It was truly amazing, because as we sang, he made small signs of movement; and as he did so his wife clutched his hands ever more so tighter, and kissed him ever more so gently. The first song was sung beautifully, and she thanked us for our amazing voices. We sang another song, again as profoundly graceful as the other, and now, more than ever, we felt sad, and happy, for these two. I, in my heart, could imagine the love needed for this family, the wife, to hold on so tightly. Every time we sang a verse, she would hold his hand and whisper in his ear the lyrics, meaning every word she said, just hoping, hoping that he would wake up. We sang our last song, tears already in my eyes, rolling down my cheek, and then he woke up; or rather his eyes opened, as he started crying as well.

 The Songsby Andrew Tai

I wonder what it would be like to grow old with someone and be in love for as long as you live. 

As you know, this was written by my friend Andrew. This was a real experience he faced while he was caroling. I just want to share it with everyone not only because he writes so amazingly but what he saw was truly... touching. It gave me a thought, on the couple's love, and what it would be like to watch a couple like that right in front of your eyes. Does it build a lump in your throat and made you wanna tear? It certainly did for me. According to Andrew, this man fell from a three storey high building and got his right brain damaged, therefore his eyes can't work properly.I don't really know how to put my feelings into words after reading this, but to witness something so beautiful but yet so painful at the same time, I just don't know what to think but cry, cry for the couple, for the strength of their love and yet for their pains and sorrows they're going through. Just put yourself in Andrew's shoes maybe, and imagine it. How would you feel? It's definitely something to think about or maybe not, but it did stir something in me I can't quite explain.

Love Rachel*

It's your shit. You do it.

Irrelevant picture of a peaceful scenery.
Yay blog time. Guess what I'm gonna talk about? Responsibilities! Woohoo! Don't need to get too excited y'all, I know it's an interesting topic, calm yo tits.

Yeah I know it's a pretty sucky topic but the reason I want to blog about this because I just feel that it's an important "element" to have, you know, being responsible. I just want to remind myself and everyone else about it so bare with me would you?

Being responsible is damn freaking important (Goddamn I sound like a mom). Let's say you got this group project, someone picks you to be in their group and you're told to do this this this. Everyone has their job to do so yes that's settled. But in the end, you forgot to do it because you were too into something else. This obviously pisses the group leader off because you're the only douchebag (sorry I didn't want to sound like a mom) who didn't finish their job therefore you can't pass up the bloody project. Then everyone gets lower marks cause of you. So don't blame your friend for not picking you to be in their group because you didn't do your freaking job. Don't be surprised that you'll always be the last pick. I'm damn hell sure I don't want someone in the group who won't do shit that they're responsible for.

You see, when you carry out your responsibilities. It makes your life and everyone else's life a whole lot easier. You do your job, I do mine. That's that. But if you don't, don't expect people to trust you with anymore responsibilities because honestly, giving a job to someone where there's only a 50% chance he/she might do it isn't a risk worth taking. True?

And yes another thing is to always be responsible for your actions. If your sibling breaks something and blames it on you, then you have to deal with all the shit your mum throws at you. You like that? No, you wouldn't so don't do the same to others. Easy. You mess up, you be responsible for it. You don't wanna be responsible for anything, don't get involve, be smart, don't mess up. Plus you can't run away from your responsibilities, not the big ones at least. The minor ones maybe once or twice but dream on if you think you can run away from it forever. Cause one day you're gonna be given a huge responsibility at the same time an opportunity of a lifetime and if you mess up, well there's no way you can run from it. Always be responsible for whatever you do. If you're so worried, just think of the consequences because (QUOTE TIME):

"The universe doesn't give you what you ask for with your thoughts; it gives you what you demand with your actions"

Yeah crappy post for today because my thoughts are all over the place and I'm too lazy to re-read the whole thing. Hope it's okay though (Y)

Will it ever come true?

Love Rachel*