USA Entry #1

The Golden Gate Bridge at San Francisco!

(I was born to be a photographer:b)

Yep, I'm secretly Michael Jackson, only at the Mystery Spot in Santa Cruz though.

Sunset at Pier 39, San Francisco. 

It was so beautiful!!!

Hello, I'm sorry I haven't updated my blog for awhile. It's because I haven't really stayed by myself yet here in the States so I couldn't really blog much about my experience here. I'm officially here alone now because my mum and aunt just left a night ago.  sobs. They've been here for about 3 weeks with me, helping me settle in and all which I'm really grateful for. It's quite a lot to take in but thankfully they were here with me, it made things so much easier.

Classes won't start for me until September 21st so it's kinda a long way more to go. I bet you guys are thinking, "Then why did you go so early for??" Well, the orientation programme (yea, thats right, I stay true to the British way of spelling things!) for international students was from Aug10-26. Not everyday but yeah, it was spread out and it was compulsory if not we would have missed our placement tests... Smart way for making students come for orientation because most of the times students will skip it. Then again, if you're going to another country to study, why would you skip orientation right? It's so different from Malaysia and it's so complicating, lol. People here don't even know what A-levels are but then again, their own education system is good enough.

Moving on...

I remember when I was 15, I wanted to leave the country super badly not because of like the bad education system or what but because I was so bored with my life back in Malaysia. I wanted something new and different... I thought, "What fun it would be to have a new life somewhere else!"

Boy, was I wrong. I'm not saying that it's not fun, it's nice here and I think I'll adjust well I guess but you just don't get the same comfort from being at home (duh). You're on your own now. All these things you gotta do by yourself and I have to think of what to cook everyday, ugh! I'm not the type of person that likes to eat out a lot because I get very jelak after awhile. Then there's laundry to do, things to buy, blah blah blah. Man, I just thought how nice it would be just to start anew somewhere else... Damn, I take it all back now. I have to worry about bills too *cries*

Yes, I do admit that I had things there for me already when I was back at home, all thanks to my mum. I had a maid to wash my clothes for me and clean my room, my grandma to prepare dinner for me everyday, my mum pays the bills, house installment etc. I do know how blessed I am, but being here made me realise that many people went through so much just so I could have a comfortable life. I'm not rich neither am I spoilt, please don't get me wrong. My mum worked very hard to get my family where we are today. It just goes to show that we live so comfortably and sometimes we don't really acknowledge the people who make our lives so comfortable. Plus, our currency dropping some more, mum has to work 5 times harder :(

But yeah, being here, I'm always constantly reminded of the people who gave me the comfort like when I wash and fold my clothes, when I cook my own food, when I pay my phone bills. I had everything done for me back in Malaysia, but now, I have to learn to do it on my own which is for my own good and I'm not seeing it in a negative way :)  It's tough now but we all have to grow up sooner or later. It's too soon for me to judge how it is like living here. Classes haven't started yet so... I guess we'll see. Hopefully this will be a great experience for me, learning how to be independent and all that shit, and bills... ugh. I know I know, I haven't started working yet, I know that'll be a bigger pain in the ass.

Anyway, there are a shit load of Asians here, it's a good thing because they have asian supermarkets so I can still have my asian food, bad thing.. I won't have much exposure with Americans at all. The only caucasian American I met was my landlord in San Jose and even my landlady now is an ABC (American born chinese) and I live right behind an Asian Supermarket, hahaha! 80% Asians here where I live.

Honestly, I'm just blogging to pass time, I do apologise for my mindless ranting. On the bright side, I have a few Malaysian friends and they're really nice plus I can say "La, ma, lo, ah". It's so hard to talk without it, it feels incomplete.

This is all for now... I'll probably update again when classes officially start! :) I've been living like a tourist here, just shopping and travelling :b Thank you so much for reading!!

Love Rachel*

Farewell Speech (Redo)

As I write this post, I'm on my flight to San Francisco. But of course when I publish this, I've probably landed already because wifi (duh):b

While most people are asleep on the plane, I'm trying really hard to stay awake right now because I hate getting jet lag. It feels like utter shit. I'm just trying to get my body to adjust to my destination's time zone. I won't be sleeping for another 8 more hours and my eyes are tired af.

How do I feel right now? I'm devastated. I miss home already. The thought of being so far away from my friends and family kills me inside. In my head I keep thinking that I'm making a big mistake and I should have just stuck to staying at home. My heart hurts just thinking about all of this. But I'm so thankful for my friends, they push me forward and made me feel so much better about the whole thing. 

Ok, back to the aim of my post. My family and close friends planned a surprise farewell party for me two Sunday's ago and it was seriously the sweetest thing ever. I get teary-eyed very quickly so... I burst into tears as soon as I saw everyone in the room and processed what was actually happening. It was a very emotional night for me but I'm glad I could leave with that sweet memory. It was just really comforting to know that I will have so much love and support from home to make my departure much easier. Also, on that night, I had to make a speech and I was too emotional to form my words properly. My thoughts were all over the place and I was trying so hard to hold back my tears. Basically, I choked up many times during my speech and it went nothing like how I imagined in my head. So.. I just wanna redo my farewell speech for my friends & family. I'll keep it short & simple. 

a glimpse of the amazing party decorations! 

Here it goes:

"There's so much I want to say and so many people I wanna thank but it would be a never-ending list. I never realised how many people really loved and cared about me until that night. I realised how blessed I was to be surrounded by such amazing people. After IGs, I've spent 9 months (more or less) doing a bit of coaching, lazing around and trying to figure out what else I can do. I had so much free time and it made me lost because there was nothing I could focus on. When it was almost time for me to leave, I felt so ready to leave, so ready to start studying again and actually continue on with my life. But then, the surprise party happened and my heart has never felt so heavy after thinking about all the people that I'll be leaving behind. Thank you guys for teaching me to appreciate everyone around me more. I never knew how important your roles were in my life until that night. I'm ashamed to say that I may have taken some our friendships/time for granted but even so, you all stuck by me. What have I done in my past life to deserve all you incredible people? (You guys know who you are) Thank you so much for being in my life, thank you for everything that you've done for me. We may be miles apart but I'll never forget these incredible people. Time will pass very quickly and before you know it, we'll pick up where we left off. To these incredible people, please do take care and stay safe always! You all will be in my heart! A good friend of mine told me not to say goodbye but instead see you tomorrow. So, see you guys "tomorrow" I shall :)"

To the people I know, if you have snapchat feel free to add me! Since I have no twitter or instagram, I have no clue what's happening back home so I have to rely on snapchat to do so. Also, if you would like to see a few snippets of my American Life, add me too! Acc. name: rachellutzeee

That's all for now I guess, I will definitely update about my life here as soon as possible :) 

Love Rachel*