Friday, 9 May 2014

It is. It's not.


It's not about the number of roses he sends
It's not about the surprises he plans or
the size of the teddy bear he buys or
how grand the restaurant must be to celebrate your
2nd anniversary.

We've been deceived by a made up theory of
how love is supposed to be.
That love is suppose to be about candle-lit dinners,
taking a lovely evening stroll, kisses and hugs and
darling i love you.

Oh bless these unexperienced lovers
who only know the surface of love and not what lies beneath it all.

You know what love is?

Love can make you feel like you're the loneliest person
in the world.
It makes you cry endlessly.
It makes you wish that love would never exist.
Love can slap you right across the face and mock you,
screaming its lungs out to you that you've been fucking played.
Love can drive a knife deep through your heart.
Love is a poison,
that can slowly suffocate you
and kill you from the inside out.
Love will make you punch walls until your knuckles
bleed.
It can be the heaviest burden you will ever carry and its breaks every part of you.
Love
can
kill you.



But that's not all.



Love can make you move mountains,
Love can be a cure,
Love makes you feel as though you have the ability to fly
all the way up where the stars smile back you.
Love can make your heart beat like mad
You can feel the blood rushing into your cheeks
and you giggle to yourself like a little child when you think of
all those moments when love,
were the reasons.
Love just spreads warmth throughout your body,
and you glow so brightly.
Love, goddamnit, it's just so indescribable sometimes
it can drive you fucking nuts!

Love can be a curse or a gift.
It's up to one
to decide which one it will be.
It requires sacrifice and time and effort.
It may sound very much like a burden but in the end,
all of it will be worth it
becauses, all in all,
nothing worth having comes easy.


It's not really a poem, I just felt like typing this way. Please tell me if you're sick of me blogging this way. Suggestions are very much appreciated:)

Love Rachel*


Saturday, 3 May 2014

Purpose



Every night she hopes.
Every night she prays that
everything will be different when she wakes up.
Eyes open with no more fear,
with no more pain or hate
Or dark shadows to consume her and
make her curl up in the corner, wishing
she was dead.
Wishing,
that she was never born into this horrible,
horrible world that has made her into an insignificant speck
of dust
Thrown and beaten by a heartless body.
Treated like she wasn't a living soul and she cries out,
"Dear Lord, please please take my life away"

Covered with hidden bruises and
scars that marked her worst days
Her worst nights
Her worst moments
Her worst hours.
Not a day she goes to bed without her salty tears,
burning her cheeks.
Teeth gritting, knuckles white as she stifles her whimpers.
Clinging on to every possible reason left for her to still live
and hope that something will change.
That there was something out there
for her.

Her heart may be filled with grief
with depression
with all susceptible pain.
But she has love.
She has yet so much love to give away
and honestly asks for nothing,
Nothing at all in return.
She gives love to this man.
This dark, destructive man who inflicts pain on her
damaging her body,
her face,
her soul.
He was loathsome abhorrent and devoured
by his past that has polluted his mind and heart.
No more room to accept love, and kindness.

Maybe she still lived for him.
Maybe,
just maybe.
That this was her purpose.
To bleed dry his hatred and grudges and all things
that has denatured his beautiful soul that has made him
into this.
This man.
All she can is await the day that he'll be ready.
Ready to accept all that she's willing to give from
her almost shattered heart.
Faith and hope held her together.
Faith and hope kept her sane enough to love.
To love,
a broken man like him.



Nothing super great or anything but what do you all think? Lame right :b


Love Rachel*









Thursday, 1 May 2014

Losing Fats

Amen.

It's a start of new month, pretty quick huh? I should be studying but it won't hurt just taking some time off to do some blogging right? hehe. Y'all should be studying instead of reading this stupid post anyway. Pssh

Alright, I'm gonna be talking about weight/ fats or whatever you call it. I know there are millions of people out there who are weight conscious. I admit I'm one of them and it can really make life damn tough for you.You're just restricted to so many things. Can't eat this, can't eat that blah blah blah. It really makes me regret sometimes, like why did I even end of being weight conscious.

I'm pretty sure everyone has different reasons to lose weight. For me, I do it to feel better about myself, to be able to inspire people, to look good, for my health etc. I really hope those who are, are doing it for the right reasons. If you're doing it to be more confident about yourself, or for the sake of your health then of course that's great. But if you're doing it because of peer pressure or because you hate your body then you might want to rethink it. First of all, if you do it for the wrong reasons, it won't take you far. Sooner or later, you'll realise that, doing it just cause of peer pressure is merely just a waste of time. It's the wrong form of motivation, ya get what I'm saying? Don't go to the gym just because you wanna fit in, because motivation like what won't take you far and you'll just end up back at square 1 again. So first of all, if you wanna finally start the "fit life", do it for the right reasons. Do it for reasons that will motivate you the whole way and not just a period of time. Also, do it because you expect it from yourself not what others expect from you. Sometimes, I'm like, "oh, people expect me to be fit and muscular and what what what." So I try my best to live up to them but then I stop and think again, I should be doing it for myself and not others. If you're gonna do it because other people expect you too then really, you're just wasting your time.

Secondly, I hope if you're trying to lose fats(let's use fats, not weight), you're doing it the right way. Trust me, I've tried shitloads of ways to lose fats and starving yourself really isn't one of them, skipping your meals isn't the right way either. When you starve, you're just trying to suppress you hunger, sooner or later, you're gonna be so damn hungry and during your next meal, you're gonna eat so damn much (most likely equivalent to what you would usually eat). It's unhealthy first of all because your body isn't getting what it needs. Second, you're gonna binge and make yourself so damn bloated plus you're increasing your appetite because you just eat like one shot. Skipping your meals will just end up to starving yourself then the cycle repeats.

Another thing also, is that I've tried like not taking fried food & sweet drinks at all in a month but when that month was over, holy shit, I ate so so much fried food, drank so much sweet drinks so I just suffered for a month for nothing and my cravings just got stronger. Such a genius right? So I came up with this way and it's been working so far. I only allow myself to have one sweet drink a week. It helped me reduce my cravings for sure. Or if you're like eating healthy, maybe have a cheat meal a week so that you don't constantly crave for it. These are not like scientifically proven ways or whatever, it's just what I think that will work for people who are trying to lose fats in general. So, if you wanna lose fats, do it the right way. Cut down on sugar and fatty food. Increase the veges, drink more water, do more exercise. It's simple. Why torture yourself by starving when you can just take 30mins of your life to do some exercise. Don't be lazy. Results will only come if you work for it.

Also, there's something I like to clarify. Ladies & gentlemen, the number on your super ordinary, not complex weighing scale does NOT tell you "HOW FAT YOU ARE". It tells you your mass not how much fats you have. Take that idea It's better to be heavy because of muscles and not fats.
and throw it away. Think about it, a super muscular guy can weigh like 90kg. Is he fat? No right? It's because of his muscles! If you didn't know, muscles are twice the weight of fat. If you're gonna measure your weight, I suggest you use those weighing scales that shows you your fat percentage (if you're really super into to knowing your fats) if not, you can just take picture progress. It's not accurate but you can see differences(not super extreme ones, give yourself time)

Before I stop my super long ass post, I would like to tell all of you that I'm not saying "Everyone must be slim and do tons of exercise and blah blah blah" No I'm not, I encourage everyone to exercise & STAY FIT. Not get skinny or whatever. Everyone has different preferences or views so it's really up to an individual how he/she sees it. You can disagree with whatever I say, it's fine:) The aim of my post is just to stop people from thinking that heavy= fat. It's not. All in all, just be healthy.You wanna live long don't you?

Love Rachel*