Dedicating this post to my mother :)
Anyway, I'm pretty sure we had times where we just don't wanna study, feel like dropping out of school, flunk all our tests and just don't give a shit about our studies anymore. I know I had my time. I remember it was during the 2nd monthly exams. I had trouble catching up with all my work and I was so far behind lessons. So in class, I was kinda lost. I had to study like crazy and my god, I was just damn stressed and frustrated. I thought of dropping out of school and I was dead serious. I actually told my mum about it. "Mum, can I just drop out of school? I can't take it anymore." But then I realised, I've been studying since kindergarten. My kindergarten school was pretty expensive, I study IGCSE syllabus in Sri KL (which we all know is not a very cheap school) plus all my activities and tuition fees (expensive as well). My mum raises my three sisters alone, so basically she's the only one who works her ass off just for us. Before I move on, I'm not bragging and I'm not comparing my life to anyone else's. I've talked to my mum about these things a lot of times. I've considered quitting my sports and decreasing my tuition because I don't wanna make a bigger hole in my mum's purse but she always tells me that if its gonna benefit me, she will be willing to pay. This obviously makes me feel so guilty and upset inside.
So whenever I don't feel like studying or choose not to work hard during training, my brain immediately thinks of my mother. My brain will be like, "You wanna waste mummy's money is it?" And automatically, I'll study hard or train even harder. I guess you can say my mum is one of the reasons why I will myself to study so hard or put my heart into training. 'Cause I don't want her to regret putting in so much money for me just for my future.
Continuing, I have friends who really don't give a flying shit about their studies. They just don't give a shit and it upsets me because I always think, "Your parents sent you to an expensive school and you don't even try to study or work hard." It doesn't matter whether you're on bad terms with your parents or not, I don't think this gives you the right to not study plus, it's for your future unless you don't even give a shit then fine. Just drop out of school, don't let precious money go to waste lol. But for those who actually care about your parents, even a tad bit, really. Think about the amount of money they spent on you just for your education. At least try? I'm pretty sure a lot of parents out there work hard to earn money for the sake of your family. So just do your part, study hard. It's not easy, I know, of course I know how it feels like. I can slack like shit but I always choose not to because my mum comes into my mind when my brain feels like slacking. I'm really not sure about you guys but I hope this in some ways inspires you to study harder or work harder, even if it's just a little bit. So maybe when you feel like slacking? Think of your parents maybe?
I know this may not be a good topic because I'm not sure how are your relationships with your parents but in the end, they are your parents. But this is how I feel about it *shrugs* So do something in return at least, I'm pretty sure they will appreciate it, even if they don't show it.
Disappointed.
Love Rachel*
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