Self Esteem, bye bye.

Mhmm, so true.

Hello! How's everyone? (: Sorry I haven't been blogging because school just started, there's shit loads of homework and I'm kinda still adjusting to the new schedules & stuff. But right now I'm starting to adapt pretty well. I like my class, nice people, noisy bunch, people are co-operative but of course they could never compare to my Zeta babies (': I do miss my old class very much but it's sometimes good to be in a new environment, well, you can't stay in one place forever, can you?

I'm not sure what to blog about so I'm just gonna like make a poem-ish thing about how I'm feeling right now but I doubt you'll get what I'm blogging :b Here goes nothing...

Not good enough.

No, I'm not good enough. 

Look at her.

She's better.

Way way better.

Why can't I be the same?

Because it's too late. 

Then why am I doing all of this?

For what?

Why do I still keep trying?

I could stop. 

Stop trying so hard.

Stop humiliating myself.

I'm never gonna be better.

Never.

Too old for this. 

Too late for this. 

I tell myself to keep going.

But for what?

What good will it do? 

Not much. 

So why do I keep trying?

Why do I keep going?

For nothing. 

What for then?

Time wasted.

Effort gone. 

Is that it?

That's not the way it should end.

I plan to keep going but again,

what for? 

I'll never improve.

It'll stay the same even in years. 

I'm stuck here already.

No further I can push myself.

So why am I still doing this?

What for?

Tell me...

What for? 

Love Rachel*